2011 - 10:47am

if you ever get to a point where everybody else is so perfect around you and your always just the problem, then of course... no doubt, you get the fuck outta there. thats whats going down. my daughters mom tryna lock me up since i can't prove that i raised leau just about her whole life so jail may be the final income. or suicide. whichevers first. fuck my family. fuck habba. fuck them all. so besides sleeping in my cold car last night, im apartment searching today. catch me in the hood



and oh me, i still got music to do

who needs action when you got words

Jay Reatard

"I Know I'm not gonna be able to make records when I'm dead. I'm not dead right now so I wanna make records, it's that simple really".

whoa, realizity

cause you aint never had a friend like me

but hey

keep your crazy up austen.

Beauty, prayer.

Drunk. fuck

mannnnnnn. fuck showing out. fuck fucking hoes. fuck all the decisions i've made. fuck you succubbus bitches for ruining my fucking life. i was a love child. i wasn't born to lose or feel suicidal. i was born to give, to the earth and show compassion like an actual fucking human being. you beings arent human, your animals so fuck your stupid ass metaphors to be aliens. fuck you hanna. fucking fuck you i hope you fucking die you evil fucking bitch but i also hope you live to see me shine through this torture youve put upon my soul since ive fucking met you. do you know how many girls i turn down? do you know how proud of you i was? To have met somebody that i was thought was lifechanging and constantly devoted my whole life to you as in 4 fucking years of being your fucking everything. sitting through everything with you, making sure you keep your life together...... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh IM NOT FINISHING THIS POST. SHUTUP AUSTen.

read

heyo

just gotta say my morning fuck yous.
fuck you.
fuck you.
fuck you.
and fuck you.

live life

ima sinner

7:59 PM (MissU)

"havent seen me cause im tired of getting looked at, cause everytime a nigga see me i just look wack"

"cause babygirls a queen... but the queens just a pawn with a bunch of fancy moves... and she's made me a fiend... I'm going through withdrawals 'cause I got nothing to lose"

"I keep on running, keep on running
and nothing works
I can't get away from you,
no
I keep on ducking, keep on ducking
and nothing helps
I can't stop missing you"

"It's like I'm her new nightmare
She ain't escaping
It makes me feel a bit complete
yeah
Knowing someone you love
Don't feel the same way about ya
Memories, they soon delete
hmmmmmmm
A couple weeks no talking,
I seen my baby
I've missed you so damn much,
heyy
I wish we could start over,
I told my baby
This what this bitch tells me,
She said"

well.. that was awkward... lol
shoutout to drake. my ex loves you. but thats childish austen. childish. as well as the others who got a touch. but its cool i guess. my lady isnt my lady anymore and i feel like a newborn baby. my stomach hurts and i have to puke alot. and the anger leads to this impacting serious depression wave throughout the whole day. i guess congratulations to the dudes that got it, we shared a prophet. thats nasty. ha-ha-ha. da-da-da.



but this worlds optimistic

mind

i hear you speaking

life

depression, manic

the truth

Health

They want to kill us. Take the population down and control the earth with new world order. Flouride (toothpaste), meats (bug disease/souls), soda (corn syrup high cause of diabetes) cereal (metal shavings), etc.

"Doesn't stop my feelings since your gone."

Lighters

"Now you wonder why he does it,
how he does it,
Wasn't cause he had buzzards circle around his head
Waiting for him to drop dead, was it?
Or was it, cause them bitches wrote him off,
Little hussy ass fusses, cause f-ck it, guess it doesn't matter now, does it
What difference it make?
What it take to get it through your thick skulls
As if this aint some bullshit
People don't usually come back this way
From a place that was dark as I was in
Just to get to this place
Now let these words be like a switch blade to a haters rib cage
And let it be known from this day forward,
I just wanna say thanks,
cause your hate, is what gave me the strength"

get there.

but who cares

understanding

be on day too.

Be on day

piano covers

6:51 PM

i'm in trouble, seeing double. Play Quiet Storm in a dark room. i'm sober now, shit is hard. boredom boredom boredom. Not really into letting any thoughts out, but i was on twitter today. Wrote a song. tight. decided to ditch some "friends". tight. Niggas is crazy, why can't we just smoke whatevers in the blunt and be friendly. haga. haha. whatever. Michael Franks "in the eye of the storm" is like theme music though. Plus, "Tiger in the Rain". I really shouldn't be in this much trouble this young. She hates me, i think its funny. But i can't care, my lifes a nightmare. and i hate her more cause im really the only one suffering from it. not dwelling, but people are evil in this world yo. Be careful, please be careful about who's around you is all i can say. Like if you can't feel the love, get out of there. lol. seriously though. life is crazy. and it can get mad depressing really fast. everybody mad at me cause i've lost my sense of humor and dont wanna play. There's no way i can feel the way y'all feel anymore. Y'all don't know what I know. or more then less, feel what I feel. whatever though. im banging the michael jackson tape i was doing now. the song about me becoming my dad scares me. like i can't even finish the recording. people dont deserve to hear that anyway. dont really care how dope it is either. im sick of people not appreciating my music. its main thing that sucks being underground, plus financial of course lol. i dont care tho, what the fuck they want me to be? a construction worker? a nurse? a costumer service rep? fuck that. i dont fucking care. houston is fucking killing me. i need to get to california. might just have to slab it out in my car like fuck it. and go from there. or maybe london, they're unemployment last a lifetime and they like music. ha. who knows. i think im ecstatic about my suicide decision. i cant wait to see the look on gods face, get it?

Treat. YO. Self.

Nevermind sessons.

11 am

"well look on the bright side is suicide."

That's cold.

Damn, you was cheating on me the whole time. How could you just fuck other people like that and lie to me straight about it? offer lies? i'm fucking stupid. Now i'm spose to pay you and keep this on my conscience for the rest of time. the boy in me wants to run, but I just want to walk home. God im sorry but i found an exit. the faster the fund raiser, the quicker.

....and you can

Even in his youth.

Even in his youth [x3]
He was nothing
Kept his body clean [x3]
Going nowhere
Daddy was ashamed [x2]
He was something
Digrace the family name [x2]
The family name, he was something

He was born for your crew
I've got nothing left to prove
If I die before I wake
Hope I don't come back a slave

Even in his youth [x3]
He was nothing
Kept his body clean [x3]
Going nowhere
Daddy was ashamed [x2]
He was the same, he was nothing

Digrace the family name [x2]
Family name, going nowhere

Leave this one, for your brew
I've got nothing left to prove
If I die before I wake
Hope I don't come back a slave
Aye-Yeah!

Leave this one, for your brew
I've got nothing left to prove
If I die before I wake
Hope I don't come back again
I'm dying!

Even in his youth [x2]
Yeah, yeah
Even in his youth [x2]
Yeah, yeah
Even in his youth
Yeah, yeah
Even in his youth
Yeah, yeah [x5]

yo, this shit goes hard.

You know how i feel.

I, I, I..

I can't feel wrong and remorseful about things done. got damn relationships fuck you up. i'm punishing myself whilst nothing really matters at all.

Just..

"Obituary birthday
Your scent is still here in my place of recovery!"

short thought.

i'm not low today. i'm not low today. its weird being scene in clubs. guess ima just watch movies to see how i should act lol. Goodfellas and Godfather on deck today. Been rolling with the mob got me in a gangster mood. haha not a mean one though, just wanna watch gangster shit hahahaha. i got 2 blunts of that eyes red. prolly be recording later with my boy sosa. our mixtape gonna be in the streets tough with all the connects im back meeting. yo, i'll never pay to be in a club, i'll never pay to be in a club. it's never that serious. i haven't really came across those problems though. i decided to stop the mind panic for a day and just relax. smoke some herb, watch some porn, do some music, say fuck it man. just enjoy myself. i miss my daughter, but hey i'll see her again soon enough. it's kinda unbalanced time with a job though. tryna stay on solid ground, dig me.

fuck it.

hello hello hello how low?

Friend of a friend.

Blunt Blowin

Part 2. 8:11 PM

In addition to show how much I don't care about all the bullshit people trash in your face. I'm going to become a minimalist til the time it's time to go. Peace

Suicide.

Lately i've been hearing alot about suicide. Some (lets just say most) people think suicide is just a crybaby give up. Most people think people who commit suicide are jokes and its openly funny to disrespect these people. All suicides are not becuase of financial problems. It has a little of everything. I'm truly disgusted by some people in this world. I'm going to commit on my birthday, February 6, 2012. I want to leave the day I came in. I have no connection with this life, and money isn't worth it. I want people to talk about me and say I gave up. I want people to be as nasty to me in death as they are in life. I want every struggling person in this world to not feel alone in this injustice. I would attempt to start up a suicide pact, but I'm going to sacrifice my life as a prophet to beat this open slavery system we have here called life. My personal life has become alot for me to handle. It's crazy for a person to attempt to put barriers on your freedom over "money" that they don't deserve. I'm not agreeing with it, so instead of paying to the imaginary. I will pay with my life, they wanted to take my life, they have succeeded. I am happy just as happy as I will be on my born day. I wish you all well, take care

5:39

just woke up pretty much. rolling a blunt. last night was crazy. opened my eyes to shit thats going on in the hood. I got the offer to be in DBG. it's basically family. Sosa is family. I don't wanna speak too much about it, but who knows what the future holds. I see things happening, but it's really up to the gods. I don't want my fans to think i'm out or giving up rap in any form or matter. its just greatness takes time, i use to rush to do stuff becuase i knew i needed to do them, but now... i'm slowing down. things will come. i know what i need to do so it will get done. Y'all will see, me, alot. I'm gonna kill these niggas. these wack ass fucking niggas. shit is bout to be a takeover. I know they weak so what other niggas do don't matter to me. it's crazy to have a 1000 niggas dap you up and you think nobody even knows you. i'm breaking out of my shell. word to them strippers asses. I can't lose. I already lost and what goes around comes around its my time to win. I said fuck it to things I wanna let go. Shit is serious out here. Money is serious. Word to every foreign car with the gang last night. I can't honestly say I care about that shit. but i refuse to have my daughter come up anything like how I did. So with that, i have to shade my careless ways and strive to be the best. All rap is stunt talk, but it has a purpose i see. People love that shit. so i'm learning. learning the ropes of the hood. niggas came out poor so we want the best, i get it. 9500 ona ring and who knows what for the rolex, sosas shining. plus the 745 bmw. i'm not gonna say to much though. But having niggas say they feel you is a boost. Personally, my music is about to change anyway, due to changes in my life. I don't feel the same way on things as i used too. Therefore my music is going to turn into whats going on now. it always changes and progresses. not becuase of whats going on in rap ever though. i make music for movies, radio might be playing me though. You might not know what i mean by that though. Bassically thanks to everybody that fucks with me. I'm down low. i'm down low, but solos gonna grow. Drunk as fuck. high as shit. hold my dick. wheres her lips

it has to end sometimes.

tight. father solutions

I feel you my nigga ha

If i'm in your pussy everyday. Of course I can tell when you've gave it away. It hasn't been the same since. Not gonna say too much else about it though.

relayshunshipad-vice

kinda wish i still had this

Get More: Bruno Mars, It Will Rain, Music, More Music Videos

but i never actually had this, wishful thinking is just a pop up

father cry

new music

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WGDGBJ61

i'm not in a good mood, but whats new. this musics great tho, enjoy.

crazy.

Aye, wait

...did i just finish a mixtape? maybe so. these songs are hard. woo

Tiger Call

woo
woo
woo

Got this from dev. Success

Old favorite Song

Word to the boy me ha ha. Up. Rolling a blunt. Bout to record, then smoke, and eat something. I want taquitos ha

Billie Holiday

"Billie Holiday died in the Metropolitan Hospital, New York, on Friday, July 17, 1959, in the bed in which she had been arrested for illegal possession of narcotics a little more than a month before, as she lay mortally ill; in the room from which a police guard had been removed – by court order – only a few hours before her death, which, like her life, was disorderly and pitiful. She had been strikingly beautiful, but she was wasted physically to a small, grotesque caricature of herself. The worms of every kind of excess – drugs were only one – had eaten her ... The likelihood exists that among the last thoughts of this cynical, sentimental, profane, generous and greatly talented woman of 44 was the belief that she was to be arraigned the following morning. She would have been, eventually, although possibly not that quickly. In any case, she removed herself finally from the jurisdiction of any court here below."

tight

it's calling me

The Man in Me

Protest

Legal Resistance.

12:16

boredumb? kinda.. sighs as i listen to my old sayings or music for that matter. Pink Sky is creating new sound and life as we speak except this is typing and you can't really see my facial expressions ha. This job shit i was at this morning had me laughing to myself about how people in the "working" world are. I mgiht've been looking like i was sucking on a lemon the entire time, but fuck it. back to drawing board i guess. My flow of thoughts has decided to brace its self and just do all things purposed. so maybe for now no more mixtapes. I am ready to shoot some videos, but oh that takes time. I have decided to be alone as far as my love life goes if you've wanted to know. I feel like, its better to have priorities straight and everybody having an openion (i know i spelled that wrong) about you and everything you do, its shade to people right now. Jeez, all i hear is money and they must not be making enough because they steady worried bout your touch. Whatever on that tho. Having my tarot read to me about two things i've wanted to know has boosted me. It kinda just reassured what I always think, see, and say to myself. It's cool... This is a underworld transition phase i'm going through now. Cause there's no love or connection I feel of any kind. Got that from Chakory though. Apparently he was in the same spot. It's uncommon for me to feel static for daytodays. Recently it's like all my rituals, private conceptions to be okay have been crushed and barred in with energy that doesn't belong to me anymore, therefore i'm just uncomfortable now at home.

Motivation, Inspiration, Reassurance, and focus.

"You need a lot of passion for what you're doing because its so hard. Without passion, any rational person would give up.
So if youre not having fun doing it, if you dont absolutely love it, youre going to give up.
And thats what happens to most people, actually.
If you look at the ones that ended up being successful in the eyes of society, often times its the ones who love what they do, so they could persevere when it got really tough.
And the ones that didnt love it, quit. Because theyre sane, right?
Who would put up with this stuff if you dont love it?
So its a lot of hard work and its a lot of worrying constantly.
If you dont love it, youre going to fail."

Truthfully Austen.

"The boy is gone, Let's grieve and let him go"

"Something's wrong, something's wrong, when it all remains the same.
So face the fire, come into your name."

lalala

"you wanna fuck my bitch, well she aint mine if you do hit"



"I don't owe anything to you, I don't owe anything to you
You don't you know me half as well as you think you do
I don't owe anything, anything to you"

12:33 am

Deadlines and a headrush... panic attacks, a couple blunts, suicide planning, and job hunting. I prolly quit like 3 jobs in the last week. i'm dumb. but i figure whatever you stick with your stuck with for now and i got too creeped out by the typical family member job situation. uhh... no no... I feel like a ghost playing the role of Austen and Van Solo. Austen is facing jailtime and courtdates, Van Solo is facing crowds and work on the album. First time at this business thing, i need to watch mroe cnbc or something. I need a way to joke about things like the comfortable people in this world. In need a fucking lawn. I wanna mow my lawn, i need a lawn. This period in my life is up to the gods to be a phase or lifelong struggle. I'm trying my best just to make this shit a phase. Maybe not my best, but my best while depressed. Fuck, yuck. Sun wraps really is good chemical treatment for my brain though. It helps me remember who the fuck I am. Ode to weezys line "okay, they want me in a cage then i'll come out in beast mode". I feel you my nigga. Bars for bars huh? Raps crazy. No I mean lifes crazy. 3 am music is that shit. Just had to say it. "August 13th, 1991 Ft. My Mom" is that shit. but whatever. i'm out for the night

Fearing Nothing

sturess.... i can't let it get ahold. Most things fall tinfold after the panic anyway. I'm just tryna find my balance in a beat once again. it's complicated friends