so far, so..

my lifes changing mayne, big changes.. a second from loosing my mind n spazzing out, but at thee same time my girl keeps me content.. mostly from wilding out would be music, but i haven't been recording like i used to should be, problems been preventing music from being made, everything always gotta be a problem with someone, no good news from no one who hits me up, always some bullshit, & i'm pretty tired of it.. my home don't feel like a home, so i stay gone.. Motivation seems to be leaving my crew. Got me thinking i wanna quit rap some days, but i rap so dope tho, like why would i quit, when i know i can emerge n go down as one of thee biggest superstars of all time, shits wack dude.. Questioning myself on whether i wanna fall back or snap outta tha doubting n do what thee fuck i gotta do.. this music shit is wack tho, promoters be bullshitting, can't go to thee studio or record when i'm really feeling like recording, people i know be looking at my like i'm different cus my raps are actually cold.. most of tha time i don't even like telling people i rap cus i don't be wanting to see thee look they gone make n they always ask me to hear somethin, then i play a fucking verse n blow they mind, everything changes when they hear you cold, like why wouldnt you just believe i was dope when i fucking told you my shit was cold, like.. do i look like a mothafucka with wack raps! i been dope with whatever i wanted to do in life, was super cold in basketball when i wanted ta go to tha nba.. GOD blessed me with talent, but he always gave me stress to come with it, i'm not complaining, but i didn't ask to be a rapper, shit just happened mayne.. n even tho i don't be recording as much, i feel like batman, just looking at ALL dese rappers make all these songs n try n get on EVERY blog n website n they songs just be dead average, i guess like people settle for what they can get or thee people they know don't really wanna tell them tha truth.. i'm just guessing tho, but shits still funny to me mayne. I be seeing niggas praising these undope songs like for what? cus they "on", if shit aint hot, shit aint hot, for example.. kid cudi isa dope rapper, but ever since his mixtape, he been droppin mediocre songs, excluding "sky might fall", but people actin like everything he's doing is dope when it's not.. i gotta force myself to like his newer music & i only do that cus i'ma fan n i thought he was gonna be different.. i see some similarities with me n him tho, so i hope i don't get like that when i'm on.. being that i don't just leave this shit completely, cus i am feelin close..