End

I feel like I need to write this to set the record straight. Sache was a fuck. Or was spose to be a fuck for the night as I was low and outraged that Hanna didn't go to prom wit me and chose to bunk up wit some nigga in the company of her sister being wit some other nigga. Y'all know how that shit go. I fucking hate my fucking life. I hate how damaged everything is because of me. I broke apart my whole family all because of some bitch who was never nothing to me having a baby by me while I was not graduating from high school getting exposed to the beautiful state of Texas child support system. As well as my whole dad and dad side of my family disowning me because I don't want a child by this evil town slore shacne. If me and my brother fucked you, how could I ever have loved you? Or seriously dated you? You know what it was and you chose to take shit overboard when I was just a boy not knowing what the fuck I was getting ready to face. But its all okay because that's life in the ghetto huh? Its normal because my atmosphere was poor right? Poor mind shit right? Fuck that. I will forever hate you for destroying my whole life single handedly. You talk so much shit about me to everybody, turn around and hop on my dick. You can have my bitch ass useless father. Let him father adam all he wants. That bitch ass nigga never was a father to me and I never cried about it like some fucking baby. Even when he told me I wasn't his child in front of my face to his fucking coworkers and even his coworkers were looking like what the fuck. Yeah, ill always remember that precious baseball game that your job gave you tickets too dad. From that day after I cried I never cried about you not parenting me or teaching me anything. More than that I forgave you. N you got the nerve to look down and talk shit about me like you was some great fantastic father. I'm sorry about the 500 dollar child support you had to pay for both me and devinn. Not each, but total. You helped my mom be a lazy sleep drunk while we starved for years wit the lights off and no food in our apartment. I appreciate it my nigga. Fuck you so fucking much though. I will never regret my daughter but Hanna you are a evil deceit demon in disguise. You lie with the most beautiful truths. I can't believe you are what you really are. I still love you that's the sad thing so I'm not even gonna go on about your personal faults. I guess I shoulda pressed charges last time you tried to kill me huh? L'eau you know your dad loves you and I know you love me and are proud of me and hurt without me when I'm not there. But your mom wants to listen to her friends, fuck other niggas, ditch you for other niggas whilst she doesn't really even love you at all. When you were born all she talked about was how much she hated you. But she won't give you to me and the state of Texas won't either because I'm a black male and they don't you to have a father. They just want your mom to receive child support money from me. Word to court next Tuesday. If I don't succeed at killing myself before the court date I will come see you when I'm out of all this one last time. I'm such a fucking failure I hate myself so much. I just want to bang my head against a wall til blood spews out like a juice dispenser. I can't take life anymore. Like Hamlet, I have to choose between life and death... and I'm choosing death. I'm so distraught I can't even write everything I want to say because so many painful memories are coming to mind that I want to express but its too much. I'm sorry to my brother I always loved you. I know you will make it through without me and become a rich billionaire as you should be. To Ashley, I've never felt love from you a day in my life. I know you always saw me as a nasty disguting discraceful half brother. I love you mom but I can't bear disappointing you anymore. I don't want anything from you. Not money not even a place to stay. I always been fascinated by you and your graceness. I love you so much I can't stand it sometimes because I am nothing more than what you are. Looks and everything. I'm tingling while typing this I have to find some paper to write a letter to my daughter. Devinn I want you to give it to L'eau when the time is right. I could just ramble on about fuck this and that and how much I hate this and that but you get the fucking picture. As far as music, I hate it. I hate this world. People don't appreciate shit. I wish I had the personality to market myself so correctly but I don't I don't care. Cause I don't want fake love. Never have and never will. I'm tired of typing on my phone so this is the end. Goodbye