Lithium

if i really wrote what i write in my journal i'd be back in the mental hospital. how is it a person can make u feel so shitty. more so  ummm. shit. i drank a limearita now im feeling nothing. lol. this feeling in my chest sucks. i want to record some music. alot of music. mght be selling my car tomorrow. dont know what i should do with the money. thinking bout just ending it all like fuck it. the world has enough. i dont think it needs me, im supa tired of this void. im not even interested in anything anymore. i dont know if its cus of drugs or what, but i cant maintain sober. i dont hate the world cus im my own problem and created my problems but what was i spose to know i wasnt raised. i jus grew up. thats blackness tho. if i do blow my head away do some blow and kiss ur loved ones to give them a break from all the hate and neglect u dont even realize ur giving off. i dont wanna murder anybody, so if anything ill just take myself. i dont care anymore. i really dont, care. im so lonely, but thats okay i shaved my head....................................... things was different back then but things changed. all my friends disappeared or died. bananas no homo, word to cam. word to pink. i wore a rubber. my beliefs being proved wrong is really fuvking wit me. now my face feels like stone and my chest is warm from the beer. im bored. if im gona die im gonna be real high. i wish i could find heroin. blows. thinkn a gang of kush a 8ball of coke and a bottle of jack daniels whiskey before i blow my skull. cus if i die right now at least im dieng high hshahahahhahahahaha