Sleep apnea..

I'm always up, which means too much time to think.. Alotta time to work, on my shit.. I'm always writing rhymes, hating my rhymes,  debating with self if i'm nice or not..sometimes i don't even know. But thee thing is, you gotta have confidence in this world, you gotta have strength..Me, i have mirror strength, meaning.. I have to look inside my soul in order to find thee right kind of stregth i need in order to get over what i need to be above.. Wings for a brain.. Van for a name.. Middlename that is which is gonna become an abrupt first name to people who only know me as an entertainer.. Which will probly be more people than average cus lately i haven't been letting anybody get close to me.. besides my good fam kev x jonathon.. As far as everybody else, Shady is gray as thee eyes can see.. I guess people get worries with my priorites twisted.. I don't really care about much that goes on around me since i'm changing everybodies future by putting my whole n only life at stake..for thee better. They don't see thee good tho, only see bullshit they can talk about, to my spine that is...Never to my face, fear isa blue face, red isA mad face, pale isa scared face, real life moodring perhaps.. I insolemnly live for thee purpose of thee future, if this was b.c. i'd be one of them caregiver type cavemen.. But since it's 2000-bs-9, i'm really like a modern day superhero.. Yeah they doubt me now, yeah they have a love/hate thing towards me, but everything that i do is simply for thee better of their humanity, as well as mines.. Even if they dislike me for it..  My precious ex stopped by my crib thee other day, but i can't even see myself going down a past road again.. I can't see myself associating with anybody who showed their true colors to me in my most pivitol moment in my life.. Thee bullshit i faced transitioning from 18 to 19 is astounding.. N these bitch niggas think they know drama, think they know stress.. Mothafuckers don't know shit about what i go through, bout what i gotta deal with, they just live unhappy little lives so they feel it makes them feel better to involve soemone else in thee black holes they put themselves in.. Yeah i made plenty of mistakes, but thats what thee fuck youth is for.. To make mistakes, i made mistakes, & those same mistakes taught me alot, made me thee man i'm gonna become.. When i really need help, i see myself.. When i'm Fuck isa dad to me. Fuck is love to me? Everybody or anything i ever loved got taken away from me...grousemly.. Like my fav cousin for instance..a girl key, which died when i was 12 ina car crash...funny huh.. or my supposed first love of t..who cheated on me n made me a bit bitter for my next relationship.. Which i wasn't really ready for becus i already knew i wasn't stable enough in thee mind to date anyway, but she obviously wasnt tryna hear that.. Dating unstable is thee worst mistake anybody can ever make.. Emotions ruin people, they change you.. Do you know how smart humans would be if we had no emotions, if we didn't act on "impulse", but rather logical thinking. But no, GOD gave us emotion, GOD created thee devil, which was first a angel..gone wrong, meaning we have a choice for right from wrong, you do wrong, GOD forgives you.. You do right, GOD testes you, to see where your faith stands... You see, it's all a game, thee earth isn't real, future lines are made, paths x routeds are there.. You gotta choose yours.. I know niggas 25 still living with they moms with justa car to show for their achievements.. You think i'd sell my soul for a ride, when i can be owning jets, buying parts of airlines, living in nice condos, & going to thee beach if i feel like seeing some warm sun.. You think i'm dumb enough to quit reality of becoming a musician, work to please you DUMBFUCKS X YOUR SMALL MINDS..no! fuck that, i'm tryna please myself.. physical embodyment is going out of my mind to write thee best shit you ever heard.. To inspire REAL people who not afraid to be themselves.. I GIVES A FUCK WHAT ANY ONE OF YOU COCK SUCKING CUNTS THINKS ABOUT ME, FUCK YOU, FUCK WHAT YOU DON'T STAND FOR, THOSE WHO BETRAY N DISS ME ARE ONLY MAKING THEMSELVES FALL BACK FARTHER.. NOBODY I EVER MET OR KNOW HAS THA HEART TO ACTUALLY TAKE THEE RISK I'M TAKING, NONE OF YOU FUCKS I EVER MET EVER ACTUALLY HAD ENOUGH TALENT TO BE THEMSELVES N BE VERY MUCH DIFFERENT FROM THESE LAME FUCKS THAT SEEM TO SEEMLESS CONTROL YOUR STUPID MINDS WITH THESE SONGS BOUT BULLSHIT THAT MEANS NOTHING.. BUT OH, HATE ON VEE, CALL ME A BITCH ASS NIGGA, CALL ME WHATEVER THEE FUCK YOU WANNA CALL ME, BUT DO NOT CALL ME WHEN YOU NEED SOMETHING, DO NOT CALL ME WHEN YOU SEE ON TOP, I WILL NOT ANSWER FOR YOU.. I'm aloof cus most people aint on thee shit i'm on.. These bitch niggas who diss me be thee same niggas who look up to me, giving up on what they have to form weak ass rap groups to make wack ass music, aint nobody tryna hear that shit my nigga.. I really don't understand how you gotta high school diploma & not doing shit with yourself, it's like wtf dude..  Are you retarded or something? End blog tho..these is 6 am thoughts from veezy, well...some of em at least