I just wanted to let my fans, friends, or anybody who really generally likes and appreciates my music that I will put out one independent album sometime this year. If I don't make it during this year. That will forever be my gift and last goal in this life. I've been planning, contemplating my suicide for about 2 years now. I use to use the thoughts for comfort and motivation, but as bleek as that sounds I realized it's more than whats bothering me that bothers me. I'm bothered by rapist, pedifiles, jobs, people, the homeless, the hungry, the ignorance, and the sick materialistic society. I realize that maybe i generally don't want money. I just want my family, but I don't have any money to keep them lol.... I'm pretty sure my daughter will prevail through this life, i'll be her guardian angel when i'm gone. That's prolly better then anything I can do for her here. I'ma loser. I don't want no fucking job. I don't wanna be like these miserable ass fronting people. I've managed myself for 20 years now so I know how I am.. And subsequently I knew this day was coming. I knew this day was coming when my father looked me in my face and told his white friends i'm not his child, but my brother is. I knew this day was coming when my moms sister and husbands family were calling me the devil. I knew this day was coming when my grandpa was tryna teach me about life and I didn't even wanna go/stay in the hospital with him. I'm so fucking worthless man. I'm never gonna change my views and attitudes no matter how much I try.. Or how humilated I get. I realize that nobody really likes me... haha it's cool.... I like myself... I'm alone here. I'll be alone in the next life as well.... Hopefully the next life has drugs and crawfish.
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