This is just a picture to you, but to me it's like a mural..Meaning it's something from how shit use to be in thee past.. The past, this was back 07, when life was somewhat great.. No beefs, drama, babymomma, brotha home hurting niggas feelings with thee dope shit we stay doing no matter whateva, gf before i met thee bitch that played with my emotions in which lead to thee biggest mistake of my life, me x my babymomma were tryna be real friends without sex n shit [we were really cool before, i still think she's pretty cool, but a bitch at most for some shit at most]
Bassicly, this mural reminds me of when life was great in my eyes, i wasn't rapping at all..i was more going through things which in form made me actually start rapping.. I was more of a life observer back then, thee quiet nigga who just watched n soaked up everything..Now i say a word n everybody contests me no matter what i'm speaking of.. I truly believe if i never woulda met my ex, i woulda never been rapping, becus i prolly wouldn't have as many problems as i currently have..cus ever since thee end of 07 & meeting her, shit been going downhill ever since.. I woulda prolly been in thee navy with my brother right now with no kids.. But I was gonna go to thee navy first before my brother becus i knew i NEEDED to get outta houston quickly before i made a bad mistake.. My ex before my ex [toi] really made me unstable as a person n i was tryna rejuvanate myself before dating anybody, but my recent ex didn't wanna let that happen.. I told her no before we started dating particulary becus i wasn't ready.. I wasn't myself & i knew that, so i wanted to just wait n be friends or nothing cus at that point it didn't really matter.. Instead she opposed, we started dating, this bitch had mad jealousy x trust issues becus she been paranoid & buggin about nothing when shit was really nothing.. Everytime our relationship got good, she would start talking to someone else in order to beware her commintment issues, & get mad at me for nothing when i wasn't even fucking with nobody.. I never really even cheated on her becus when i went to prom, when she DIDN'T wanna go with me, we were bassicly broke up, & she was fucking with some otha dude that night anyway.. Although it didn't have to go this far, it did.. So fuck it.. I hate people who try to act so perfect when in realiy, they're not.. Thee fucked up thing is, i'm not even mad at my babymother simply becus she reminds me of me, to a certain extent.. We both do things for love, odd, bad, good, or not.. I meannnnnn, i understand that.. I just wish she woulda maybe put my worries n concerns in thee picture without just spazzin out on me when i told her i wasn't ready.. It's cool tho.
I'm rambling tho, i just miss my past, i miss my brother, i miss my bm being my friend, i miss having things altogether, i mean i have a plan now...but it's different, mad different. I'm not really scared to fail cus i honestly feel i have nothing to lose..If i make it, i can help alotta ppl i know, & myself.. I just gotta keep making thee right moves, & showing GOD i really want it badly..it's not a kiddy dream to me no-more like when i use to freestyle in class when i was 15-16.. This is my life, this music shit.. I'm gonna make it happen, i promise my life that. & my mom that. She deserves to live better n i'ma give that life to her, even if she might have people following her around or not lol. I'ma get my sister into this modeling shit, help my cousin become a music engineer, make sure my son got everything he needs, buy my brother whatever, & take care of myself at that..That's major to me! lol.. I guess life goes on tho.. This just goes to show you how everything can come crshing down on you x your little "stressed" perfect world, GOD will show you what stress is, he will put you through things to see how you handle them, he only test thee strong, & people who he needs to impact thee world, so if he does, just know you have a big purpose in life.. He just wants to see if you'll still serve him & put him on top of all faiths n beliefs.. See, this life is all a game.. It's not even real, thee future is not set, you pick where you go in life..remember that
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