Before something drastic.

Got me looking stupid. I reached out. Cold, i should've done this to you. But nah, Lemme not truly fuck wit anybody else for Leaus sake. Lemme respect Hanna. Lemme get rid of this person around me. Lemme keep it in the back of my mind that ima get back with Hanna. Lemme do what she wants. Smh. If God doesn't take care fo this I will. Im not bout to accept going through torture for life. This shit is stupid. The way i'm feeling is stupid. These lows are stupid. What am I some angel? U need me to learn God? Like Jesus learned. But i'm not dieng for these unappreciative people, i'm dieng for freedom. Send me Hell fuck it. I can prolly can kill there freely. Dead ass.

im smiling, dead ass smiling. change is hard tho. but my dick is harder. pun

mental block list.

1. niggas come up off other niggas. and go talk shit about other niggas. and then go shake hands wit them other niggas. 2. fuck the internet. fuck twitter, and i can imagine facebook. 3. love is a drug. 4. depression is a major addiction, worse than drugs, is a drug, out of drugs. 5. why does sex hurt so much? 6. is god real. 7. god is real. everything isnt fair making everything fair. life is about choices that all have alternate paths. even tho, people will always have their own motives. 8. suicide is a feeling, uncomfortable feeling in ones skin which causes the want to evaporate. 9. we are water. drink more of it. plus u, austen r aquarian. 10. when they want u, u dont want them. when u want them. they dont want u. 11. lonely. how come i didnt use to have a phone i was straight. but now i got a phone and it never gets buzz. which makes me feel lonely. 12. technology is evil. its too many ways to be shady in relationships. 13. with age, company is a need. 14. if I, Austen Vananthony Campbell dies. what will ur life be like. without me. truly 15. Van Solo lost confidence. or Austen just hates music period and what the world idolizes. but that shouldnt affect me. 16. unhappy with all the music i've put "out" 17. regrets.... nuff said 18. mistakes... nuff said 19. i want her to watch Hannah and Her Sisters for a clearer understanding of me. (other girls meant nothing) 20. no one ever really dies. just changes dimensions. if i overdose. keep breathing 21. I hate myself and want to die. 22. unsuccessful, failure, clown. junkie. still a kid. 22 years of age. done.

no longer will i let the world play me as the fool. this is prolly the most disgusting i've ever saw my life and felt about myself. but i set myself up for this bullshit. time will heal this certain situation as things are currently building up. all i gotta do is wait. im leaving niggas behind. niggas who aint never been down for me. the world dont need to know any of my thoughts or wassup with me. i am now ghost. im bout to move forward with my real family and set of lawyers. whether this blog will stay up, is totally up to the bloggers. Rehab

Not free. Confused. Stomach in bad love. Vengeful. Pity. Worthless. When did feelings matter man. Howd I become a drug attic, fuck man. Miss being a kid. Ashamed of myself and babymom. Smh. Shits cold man. Cold

O-D new music

DWNLD

freestyle. help me in hell

DWNLD

Death Precision

2:03

drugs r dope. drugs r dope. the man cried. ... but the problem with highs is the lows in the sky. as the days drag on and he faces a new dawn. often more than happiness he wishes he wasn't born. a demon in ur mind will often take time. Take its time to find and stalk behind you like the hours of each night and day. Only changing in camouflage to act like its not with u, when its with u. a cloudy vision comes overhead as the human now turned creature reaches for desperate measures. whats the problem he said to the skies? money, bills failed relationships and lost love. total solace pushing himself away from everybody in a mad panic. u wasted ur time son. ur about to waste ur money. ur about to face some of the most hideous devils on earth. the person u usta think was beautiful is now more than a succubus taking out ur very self called self e steem. drugs cant save u. they can blind u. but u love them. its ur comfort. its cool if its helping u get through right? then u wake up everyday craving just to be able to function as the sober mortals do. wishing u had that strength to be happy and keep it going. but u dont. ur face is red from the painful punches and the whiskey. that river is not water. it is syrup, all types of vodka u dont like, marijuana, cocaine and heroin. i mean coke. u jus be so tired u need it huh. lethargic is the ancestor of death. with the nightmares u see in ur beautiful mothers face as u sense the disappoint of needing anything from anyone else. feelings of fear and panic r normal to u. 'whats a couple months in jail over a broken relationship. whats a vengeful female giving herself to someone else over the spite of hating u. i mean me. whats the pain of twitching at night. waking up early every morning becus the devils know sleep is ur only peace so u cant get any of it. up till 3:30 am every night and back up at 7am everyday. afraid of the walls. hear my cry. hear my cry

truth

i need it. i love it.

Tired of depression. Its to the point I can't even have conversations.

2 Chainz

Out of Focus.

And as much as I know I don't wanna lose you, I do gotta act like I never knew u

"Slab" New Music from 1 9 6 9

DWNLD

sex talk

Like my next bitch is bouta be ham.

interesting. old tumblr post

Just tryna outshine the darknesses of my world.

Super tired of the abuse… super tired of making up things to myself to cope for not having them… making up fantasies, lieng to myself and believing them justa get through….. So in all reality i’m still single and alone… but in my wishful dreams, my girl for the moment becomes my girl… until they disappear. From the magic earth just keeps continuing to bring. I guess i like it.. ah.. family court, ha… so degrading to myself to step in these such places becuase certainly the states gonna boost what i do for my daughter.. ah, what they really doing is making my daughter a prisoner tryna push me far away as possible as they can cause all in all they don’t want me to be a father. They just want money. So as i say in my raps.. “Before these niggas make me sign, I have my name on that line, telling me when i’ma father, and go and see my daughter, but wait.. i’m already father, why is this shit being martyr? it’s retarded..” That’s what i mean… this shit sucks and i’m tired of dealing with it… tired of waking up to it… ah the joys of being me today. Btw, i made a health decision to not fuck with knowing hoes… condoms or not.. bitches plot, and hoes are creepy, really CREEPY. So, cut off your hoes.. they’re really fucking creepy. I think i’m better off with masterbation and music work for right now. all good. all vanny chess moves.

 

Yoaw

PSA: I'm not cheating on my next girl. And I'm not jus finna give my dick to any ol body. U gotta be beauty. We gotta be able to talk. And u gotta put in on this here weed

I truly fuck with this

New Song: "Novia Loca"

DWNLD

My new video. "Summer Nights"

Seppuku

exactly how it be!

Rihanna

be careful in columbia.

princess katana

when im gone.

Nirvana

Its so soothing to know that you'll sue me, its starting to sound the same! (I miss the comfort of being saddddddddddd) - frances farmer will have her revenge on seattle. And, happy father hang out with me day to my mommy. Super warrior beasting back now. So proud of her. Truly. Your corrupted son Vanny.

mayne

studio

my band

already got a gig. r u gonna come see us? im rocking baby yeahhhhh

Ab-Soul

pics

New Music. I Was N Da Trap

DWNLD

crazy how all the power lies in having your shit together. whatever that means. whichever way that is. if you do something long enough it'll pop. bad or not. kna'mean. but i get distracted. fucking therapist, fuck yo words nigga just gimme pills i can boost my mood with. why am i not 17? why can't i turn time? i haven't mastered the power yet apparently. working on it through suicide attempts, but really it's just dimension traveling im tryna do. hate my fucking life so much. disgusted with myself too. i wanna be beyonce and smile