Texas Sigh

People are pathetic. I see it more and more everyday. I will not let the Retard Clan effect/affect me. Word

Word

Like Rocky. The end of the day shall have self respect and a shit ton of money!

Embrace The Martian.

A car, A apartment (Roaching), and a Job isn't the American dream for me. Fuck u weak minded Houstonians.

UN Likely

Its not a big deal. demon days man. Dont wanna sound like a broken record so. thats all for now. I cant wait for the day i dont have to promote my raps. automatic listen. ima go hard on these niggas. ima shit on everybody. ima shit on everybody. i dont forget nothing. trust. ima get so hi. i dont care how lonely it is cus im used to the shit. Shits at a need. and it aint about stuntin. word.

.

Pussy

Houston Hoes

Paint The Sky - Jaeden Zoe DWNLD

DWNLD

real

Kon Artist wrecked.

Im always stressed.

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a nigga back at the house. feels like i just came back from outta town or suntin. wish the spliff was neverending and this jameson bottle was filled. just got it a day ago. feels like my ballon was popped. but im not sad or anything. not even tryna come off that way. Me and Hannas relationship is a drug of its own. i get alot of comfort from her. but not really. its weird. i dont got weed for fronting. Pink Floyd - Money and jack n the box. Ultimate cheeseburger with grilled onions (no mustard), Peach tea, churros, and oreo milkshake mijo. Fresh glazed donuts from shipleys too.

Screw/Playlist I made (DWNLD)

No reason for rihannas picture. but i did make a playlist of shit i listen too. some of it. all screwed by me, play this at night... jus let it run. interesting. Light. DWNLD

Trouble Man

Word.

One day u gone realize u can't get hi enough. It never goes away. Whether u give it up or not. What's bothering u, will bother u. Until its dead, but it can't die if its still principal in ur life. Dig me. Letting go is fictionary. It can't happen and anybody who doesn't understand that shit aint going through shit. I hate when people say let it go, forget about it. Nothing is forgotten. Energy CANNOT DIE, only reform. The only way is too replace that energy with other energy. If not, u will be dragged right down where the current energy is. I've learned... I've learned... I still aint shit and im still suffering, but knowledge is truly half the battle.... Now I know.

Cus The Whole World

Rip Screw

Faith, Prayer

God has the most prominent perfect plan for me. All I have to do is follow and accept.

True

I love Hanna. I love Leau. She doesn't have to give me love, but she always does. No matter how far she wants to run. It's beautiful, she can't be gone long... and I can't sleep waiting up for her. I never or rather haven't been looking at things through her eyes. Now i'm empathetic. Only thing to do is move forward being true to the truth and future. I love Hanna. I love music. Both not the same, but just as much. I need both. I need my fam to survive and be happy, i need music to survive and be happy. .. So whatever it takes, i have to have both. Once the joke is over and music is paying my bills fully i'll be a better man. Punishing myself about status has to stop for me. My daughters proud of anything I pretty much do. and she misses me as I miss her. My best friend in the whole wide world, I adore her so much. She is going to be a star, i see the future. Mark my words. ha. I'm not too much into attention, just want my work heard/seen so I know what that comes with... I want Hanna to shine as she will. I want to put that ring on her finger.  As I will. I'm not sure if she looks at my blog, but when the time is right and things are worked out. I can really be a good boy if I want too. And I want too. I hate us seperating. As I said in visionary, "and i can't sem to think, when i'm in misery... but i move to the place where the sinners be.. and i go on... so wrong" true. gotta stop tho. I can't lose my world over unimportant things. From a mans point of view a woman will never understand why men do such things they do and how insignificant they are. I believe Hanna is the only person I will ever truly love. I can't feel for anybody else. Since I met her, the other side of the world has been numb. I'm Hannas, I believe that in my mind... but i can understand how my actions can make the truth seem like a lie. But it's not.... No more on that though. My face is her loveseat. And her body is my room.

tight

reminds me of haydens house. ah. dope. i cant wait to start performing man. back in a good place

Miss u Kurt

either way, miss u man.

u know ur right.

Now

little lesson.

What we are, then, is entirely dependent on what we think. Therefore, the nobility of man's character is dependent on his"good" thoughts, actions, and words. At the same time, if he embraces degrading thoughts, those thoughts invariably influence him into negative words and actions.
Traditionally, Buddhism teaches the existence of the ten realms of being. At the top is Buddha and the scale descends as follows: Bodhisattva (an enlightened being destined to be a Buddha, but purposely remaining on earth to teach others), Pratyeka Buddha (a Buddha for himself), Sravka (direct disciple of Buddha), heavenly beings (superhuman [angels?]), human beings, Asura (fighting spirits), beasts, Preta (hungry ghosts), and depraved men (hellish beings).
Now, these ten realms may be viewed as unfixed, nonobjective worlds, as mental and spiritual states of mind. These states of mind are created by men's thoughts, actions, and words. In other words, psychological states. These ten realms are "mutually immanent and mutually inclusive, each one having in it the remaining nine realms." For example, the realm of human beings has all the other nine states (from hell to Buddhahood). Man is at the same time capable of real selfishness, creating his own hell, or is truly compassionate, reflecting the compassion of Amida Buddha. Buddhas too have the other nine realms in their minds, for how can a Buddha possibly save those in hell if he himself does not identify with their suffering and guide them to enlightenment.
In what realm do you now live? If you are hungry for power, love, and self-recognition, you live in the Preta world, or hungry ghosts. If you are motivated only by thirsts of the human organism, you are existing in the world of the beast.
Consider well then your motives and intentions. Remember that man is characteristically placed at the midpoint of the ten stages; he can either lower himself abruptly or gradually into hell or through discipline, cultivation and the awakening of faith rise to the Enlightened state of the Buddha.

Lounge Act

Truth - covered in security

I can't let you smother me

I'd Like to, but it couldn't work

Trading off, (and) taking turns

I Don't regret a thing

And I've got this friend, you see

Who makes me feel and I

Wanted more than I could steal

I'll arrest myself, I'll wear a shield

I'll go outta my way to prove I still

Smell her on you

Don't - tell me what I wanna hear

Afraid of never knowing fear

Experience anything you need

I'll keep fighting jealousy

'til it's fucking gone

And I've got this friend, you see

Who makes me feel and I

Wanted more than I could steal

I'll arrest myself, I'll wear a shield

I'll go outta my way to prove I still

Smell her on you

Truth - covered in security

I can't let you smother me

Like to but it couldn't work

Trading off, (and) taking turns

I Don't regret a thing

And I've got this friend, you see

Who makes me feel and I

Wanted more than I could steal

I'll arrest myself, I'll wear a shield

I'll go outta my way to make you a deal

We've made a pact to learn from who

And ever we want without new rules

We'll share what's lost and what we grew

They'll go out of their way

To prove they still

Smell her on you

They still, Smell her on you

Smell her on you

Man...

Mayne

Enola

I'm bout to get out of this hole. some how some way.

Something outside, stronger than me. Tells me I can't die yet. Tells me i'm stronger than I think. Tells me i'm alone becuase i'm temporarily not in the right place. Tells me i'm not here to get along or do what mortals think I should do. Tells me i'm here for a message. Tells me I wont die until i'm done. The pain is to remember ur fathers pain. Up, up, above. I say i'm hurt, he says im not.

How To Disappear Completely

That there
That's not me
I go
Where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah it's gone
And I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

I did some thangs,u did some thangs, i never planned to be without u. I wanted to marry u and knew that since day one. what the fuck. everything i do is about u. im not superman without my baby. and the fucked up thing is, the world needs me. but i dont need them. i need u. broken......

New Hell

Southside Legend. Nirvana. Free

Hey

It doesn't get better, u only get drunker. Lol.

UP n down

Angel Dust...

He was groovin'
and that was when he coulda sworn
the room was movin'
But that was only in his mind
He was sailin'
he never really seemed to notice
vision failin'
'cause that was all part of the high
Sweat was pourin' --
he couldn't take it
The room was exploding --
he might not make it.
Angel DustPlease, children would you listen.
Angel DustJust ain't where it's at.
Angel DustYou won't remember what you're
missin', but down some dead end streets
there ain't no turnin' back.




They were standin'
ev'rybody in a circle;
the whole family
listening to the preacher's words
Sis was cryin'
She alone held all the secrets
'bout his dyin'
tears fallin' to earth
Maybe her fault
He was so trusting
God only knew why
they was dustin'!
Angel DustPlease children would you listen.
Angel DustJust ain't where it's at.
Angel DustYou won't remember what you're
missin', but down some dead end streets
there ain't no turnin' back.

"cause music is marketed, but film is free"

A short film. May be what I need. To work on it independently, starring some randoms and a few of my friends.  Naturally, my first film will be a mirror of me.

Water

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.

- Bruce Lee

Glaciers, water water water... water water flow... 

Baked

Death. Not A Downer. Honest note.

I don't want to leave u all ona lost note. I personally am not happy here anymore. I wasn't always a suicidal death rocker. I usta be really happy, joyful, and even playful. Comedic actually. But some of the people i've allowed in my life have took that bright side away from me leaving me in the shadows of my room. Distant from the world in a mad panic. Ya, know. I often hear think about how your death would affect other people... but nobody really gets how my life going on is affecting me. The Japanese commit suicide when they bring shame to their families and I TRULY understand that. I feel the same way. I've brought shame to myself and my family. For that, I can't stay on this earth much longer. I will not be in court August 18th for these bloodsuckers to ridicule me. I will be peacefully in rest from my human form. I will watch over L'eau from inside and the skies of the heavens. Whichever dimension I land in. I love you L'eau. Be strong enough to know to make the right decisions in life. I'm never going to say anything about your mother to you. Cause that is, still your mother.. And I hated whenever my dad did that to me putting thoughts in my mind. Be strong my baby, be strong. Get out of Houston and don't ever come back here. Go to NY or LA and live real life. The country is not for the advanced, and you are highly advanced my child. You are better and smarter than me in every way. I'm happy I made you and the soon to come passion instored with you will make you great. You will be fine. If you ever miss me, just look to the stars baby. I will be there watching you. Don't EVER do anything you don't want to do in life. Life is amazing and precious, but there are rules and boundaries to keep your sanity and happiness. Don't play with fire. And stay away from drugs. Do not be like me. I miss holding you through the night and waking up to you smiling in my face until I awake. Just laying there so peacefully. That was the best times of my life just being with you. Seeing you smile, sing, and dance with me. I love you so much baby. I miss being me. Miss playing basketball all day and night after school just thinking about escaping Houston when i'm old enough. Everyday I just thought about making better for myself and getting out of this rotten state. I usta put my all into practicing just to become good enough to play get recognized and get a way out. I never saw my life like this. I didn't know people could be so evil and plot on you, ya'know. It's crazy man, but truly said The miserable love company. My friends tell me rap is my way now, but that's a sad life as well. Money aint and never will be shit to me. If God doesn't understand that then so be it. But I have to do what I have to do. Be peaceful, and much love... Vanny.

come on death. I am not afraid now. Prepared.

Thanks Kevin