Revelation

Money is my biggest problem in life right now. I can't explain why i don't care for money, but i really really really, really DON'T care for it. Child support attacking me, starvation is a bitch, for the past few months i've been looking for a light switch.. Just to be done with this shit, Cus what's the point of life if you can't have fun with this shit. I know GOD coulda stopped this shit from happening to me, i don't know why he didn't. Lord knows he saved my brother from this so many times, but why not me? I made one mistake outta anger & now i gotta pay for this shit for the rest of my life.. But paying for it isn't really what bothers me. It's the fact that I have to live with this shit for the rest of my life. I have to live in self-hatred. I do want love from other people for my music, but i don't even Love myself. I hate what i've done, and became. What somebody thinks doesn't bother me becuase nobody but me has been what i been through. Shit, couple weeks ago I was homeless, sleeping in my car starving everyday tryna survive with my head up. Now i'm ina apt, working & getting notices about paycuts from my checks, besides the large amount of taxes i recieve. The night i drowned myself in pills wasn't a suicide attempt.. I just didn't wanna wake up. Sleep is peace, and thats all I want.