Lithium

I don't think I be thinking all the time. I think I just block stuff out like it didn't happen. I just drown myself with whatever substance I can find to not let it be real. Til it fucking hits. This is a problem. A huge problem. I think I'm outing myself about a substance abuse problem cause I can't make a day without distorting myself. This is so hard to live now. Its insane. I wasn't always like this I didn't need drugs everyday. Like EVERYDAY. I think its amazing when people are just sober. Like they can just stand and live life like that. My tolerance so high I just get numb and calm now. That lean make ya stomach hurt. That weed make you wanna smoke. That liquor make you wanna cup. Them pills comfort you to a need. That pussy satisfy a right now escape need. Nothing solves nothing. These demons have to be faced so I can live without forgetting everything behind and ahead of me. This battle has been for four years now. I can't believe its got to the point where I wanna/attempted to kill myself. People just think I wanna cop out but they just don't understand how I feel. No one does.