Humble request to stay alive.

Tryna break outta zones is the hardest shit ever. I sold my soul to myself, and I still believe in GOD. But now I believe he doesn't fuck with the earth, he just watches.... I member I said this line in this rap that was like "Eveythings backwards like life is dislexic" and that may be one of the truest rhymes I ever said.. Maybe not. I'm super tired of myself. People have ate me out just to spit inside me internally.... but I guess it's cool.... What can I do.... Nothing actually. I'm not gonna spazz. No. I'm not gonna spazz. I'm not gonna believe you. No, i'm not. It's really no suprise to be suprised by anybody, as cool as we can keep it is lost once we speak it. I have to be afraid of what I say and what I think... but you don't hear what goes on in my head. You only hear what I tell you. And I haven't lied about anything yet. But too be successful is to be a sustained liar and it's just not in my heart to be that way. Due to extreme adding up child support debt, I no longer can accept poverty. It's funny that now i'm 21 I actually do feel different. I don't feel like a boy anymore, which saddens me, but I have to be a man. Like I have to be. No matter how hard I work, nothings for certain. It's like people who work hard as fuck at their low income jobs and never move up for a second. I understand your pain, i'm going through the same thing with no pay. Oh, and the fact that i'm laughed at wherever I go, but that really doesn't bother me much. I've gotten used to the hate and pointed fingers. Calamity, Calamity, Calamity. I hope my fans and listeners haven't gave up on me... I'm watching... I'm sorry I have no clicks, groups, or gimmicks for you to say.. It's just not my thing... I won't apologize for my suicidal tendicies becuase it's so much shit going on in my life that you wouldn't even understand and I don't blame you or anybody else, but me.. Some of these things were outta my control and some were.. Crazy how a fucked up mindstate can really ruin your future. So my advice to everybody out there going through something, just don't go overboard, focus, be logical about your decisions and don't use your heart. Please DON'T ACT WITH ANGER. ANGER WILL KILL YOU. Just breathe, calm yourself and don't fall into the evil energy traps that are secretly all around us like snakes with posinous venom inside their devilish eyes and grins. I've seen the devils workers many times on this earth and it's not fiction. I didn't usta understand alotta thing when I was just problemless and unconciously happy. But now, I understand alot more. So if I succeed at committing suicide this year, don't feel sorry for me or cry. I'll finally have peace. Cause that's all I really want, nothing else. Btw, I don't have my gun yet and I am going to do an album before departure. Maybe 2 albums. To leave you with. It'll be nothing less than amazing. I promise you.