Parachute

From the bottom of my heart, the world looks different. My daughter being born has made my life change. The sky's look brighter, and I don't feel so ashamed of myself anymore.. I feel PROUD. When the son I had was forced on me, it killt me inside. For one becuase I didn't want the person to be his mother. Two, I never even wanted a son, plus the way it happened was all fucked up. I was little boy, who made a mistake, the chick is older than me.. Her parents attacked me & got child support on me when i was ONLY 18. Shits true what they say, this world is a concrete jungle. A battlefield. Everybody in every country have their battles of their own, but this is ours.. Not only mine because this shit can happen to anybody. Not just me, so when I put my bussiness out there, i'm only tryna help y'all learn from me. So, it doesn't happen to you. Alotta people aren't wise to the father thing. The truth is, you can't be a father without a functional relationship with the mother. I definately don't have that for many reasons, but i'm not gonna bash her. I'll let her do it to herself. Another thing is, how can you love a child without loving the mother, above all the reason for children are creation. It's like having a lab partner that makes you do all the work in class that you don't like. Think about somebody you don't love, even like.. Telling you, yo gotta do this, this, and that. Bassicly owning you. I chose a different route. I feel bad for Adam, but i don't love him. I tried too, just isn't there. It really kills me that he's placed in this situation, but it's nothing I can do, Law-wise. His mother and my fathers family chose to push me out of his life, so be it. I hope he's strong enough to get outta there someday. Hopefully he'll come to me in time, I would love to teach him what I know. But my daughters a Love at first site, I neva felt anything so real. You see, she can't wrong me, leave me, cheat on me, hate me, or disrespect me. She'll just Love me. And there's nothing more greater than that. Thank GOD for dropping an angel into my life in the time of dear need. You can't even imagine how suicidal i've been becuase it's so hard to cope with my past mistakes. Now, i'm putting more in my music, as in Carnage. But it's soooo much I gotta deal with ona Daily. You don't want this life i'm telling you. I'm just thankful my mom still believes in me & doesn't judge me. Becuase Honestly, women know how fucked up women can be. And that's just fact. I mean think about it, if a woman will disobey GOD, you don't stand a chance for hope.