"Broken up, you can't put them pieces together"
Back at this pain again, with no way to distract this negative energy i have filled inside of me. It hurts when you find out things you already knew the answers too, just being told without having questioned the person who told you is invigorating. Now i'm right back where i was before.. hurt, confused, depressed, thrown off, low.. I have no clue what to do with myself. I have no friends to help me through this. I have no studio to record in. I'm forced to face my worst fear of having to get over you, the depression behind knowing what we coulda be, or better yet what i wanted us to be. I spent almost three years of my life with you, most of the time just wanting you to accept my love, before everything fell. How do i throw those feelings away? How can i find light within the darkness? How do i stop myself from killing the person you crept with, WITH our baby inside you.. It's not his fault tho. I just don't wanna feel like this no more. I don't wanna feel for you no more. I don't wanna stay bitter anymore. I'm tired of crying tryna hold myself together while i'm alone. My boredom leads to breakdowns. My breakdowns make me constantly tell myself theres no point in this life thing. What's the point of living justa feel the way i feel everyday.
I know that feeling. not being to love who yo THINK you fell in love with. the suicidal thoughts. wanting every mental part of ur brain to be erased of them, or juss forget the hurt.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing. Keep praying. "Ur setbacks are like set-ups, you got knocked down, so u can get up"
:) Ur in my prayers Van.
Man, you don't know how much that comment just helped me out. Thank you so much like fa'reel.
ReplyDelete