I just like writing my thoughts and ideas because I have no one to talk too. I've learned that writing things down can stop you from making mistakes. Or at least for me, so what I think. I write. The couple of friends I do have don't like hearing my suicidal thoughts and neither does my mom. [I don't blame them] So I don't bring it up to them. Plus, everybody's not really gonna understand what your going through until/unless it hits them. I use to talk to my girl about my thoughts, but that's passed. I haven't been running outta weed lately so when I get really sad I just smoke.. Clears it all up. The world stresses me out alot. A fucking lot. My fears always speak to me. My grown insecurities and trying to feel normal again is a process. But this too shall pass.. It's just that I don't understand how people can think I can just be okay after a long relationship like it's just nothing. Of course, i'm scared. I'm afraid of everyone and everything. I'm being strong by making music and having countless conversations with myself. I talk to myself so much sometimes when i'm deep in conversation I don't even realize there's nobody else there. It's cool tho, all part of the plan obviously. I'm just gonna work harder and get stronger. Peace and love from Vanny always man. Your not alone out there if your with me, i'm fighting for you!
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