IWTD.

I want to die. I want to die. I hate myself and I want to die. Give me death. There's no freedom so give me death. Give me death. Kill me, and stop raping me. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Kill me. I'm tired of rape. Death by dishonor, death by drama, death by (un)wealth, and death with good health. Back against the turntable, but everythings the same...NOT...... I feel like i'm just wasting my own time, I don't want myself, I don't want my life or your life or their life and so on n so on. I don't want to see the earth. I don't want to cut my wrist. I want to shoot myself in the head. It's made its bad decsions anyway and the yelling words I can't seem to control. Stressontopofstressontopofstressontopofstressontopofstress. In thought, I want to kill some people. But, in reality... I want to kill myself. I'm too nice to harm someone else, but myself there's no boundaries. The limit is death and that's not the most excessive one. You see, I wanted to slit my throat... but that would only be a more pain, suffering death. I made the decision to die by gunshot. It's beautiful, death is beautiful, it's life that's ugly. If "God" is so understanding and forgiving then he'll respect my decision and forgive me once or ever so often if i'm there. Wasted energy is playedddddddddddd, wasted conversations is playeddddddddddd (i'm tired of people talking to about useless shit), money is playedddddddd (so what i don't have your money, you will die a horrible life because you ruined mine), Life is just.. boring. I want to die. I want to die today, but apparently since I have no money and I'm steadily searching for a shady dude off the street to buy a gun from becaue I don't want a gun license. Maybe I should just get one, i'm 21.. but the fact that i'm labeled "Suicide" they may not sell me one, ahhh! that fucking sucks. hahha everything fucking sucks, i'm gonna die this year. this month, next month, sometime soon, so what should i worry for. Calm austen, peaceful inertia is coming, soon. Ha