so alive, from death

back from thee DEAD, sorta-speak..lol It's been a rough week since i stated that i wanted to get my life together, been through some bullshit, had some new experiances, learned some things, & got a new plan x outlook on things.. I bought a car, i'm gonna be doing some music internships, getting more studio equipment, just more things to do to take my life to thee next level.. I'm gonna start making my own beats, mostly cus i hate waiting on people, & i know what i want my beats to sound like, so why not, ya'know.. I'm gonna keep myself busy, be wayyyyy more active than just writing music x going to thee studio n off to wherever i gotta go to for a show.. I will be working on my sound engineering so much that i might even getta degree for it.. It's a dope music school in berkely ca, that i'm thinking about going too. I'm gonna multi-task my shit to thee fullest.. Just get into everything i can to meet thee people i needa meet that can take my music to thee next level n get it out to thee masses..Cus once people heaar my shit, they LOVE me.. I'm back on good terms with my dad again, from thee fallout i had with him a month ago, i just gotta stand for what i believe in, even if it clashes with thee people i love.. They might not understand, but i do. I got all my problems under control, i'ma very strong person.. "Thee people who care" had an intervention with me worrying about my well being that was REALLY crazy, ended up ina mental home for like a night which was hell, but made me realize alotta shit. I was hurt cus i didn't needa be there, but i was real drugged up this past thursday night on some pills n they thought i was tryna commit..even tho i wasn't, my drug tolerance is just high. That place was fucking scary tho, i hadda crazy ass roomate, thee bed was small n skinny as fuck like a pencil n i was in thee emergency room for like 24 hours, i mean a room with no tv, justa bed x a camera thats watching your every move. I dunn really know why they was tripping cus they was asking me questions while i was buzzed n i was answering em all RIGHT, i was good.. Very upset that i had to go there, but couldn't show it nor feel it or else they woulda kept me there. Thee therapist knew i aint needa be there, thats why they let me out tho. N i'm writing all this cus i'm not ashamed. I'm not suicidal, i am depressed SOMEtimes, i have moodswings, i'm mostly happy, i get sad, confused, mad, emotional, etc.. Found out i got low potassium, so i get symptons from that..nothing major tho. I got my gf back, knew i could, so i'm tryna maintain a relationship with her, but it's very confusing cus i don't know if i should just leave it alone or keep at it.. Cus it's very hard & i usually come out with thee short end of thee stick with her.. but at thee same time, i'm never bored x when i am with her, i'm thee happiest, n thee love is ever so passionate as you can prolly hear through my music, i love her so much..it scares me. I guess it's hard cus it's worth it tho, thee good feeling she gives me is just bout as strong as thee bad feelings, so it's leveled. I'ma be working on two new mixtapes, which one is called "Group therapy session" in which i'm looking to getting mr. charles hamilton on it.. & sound for helmets. I'm really excited for thee group therapy session tho, cus it's gonna be dope relaxing, inspirational, informative, get you to understand shit you might not understand, emotional, triggering energy i feel type music! A certain level of dopeness is gonna be required to make thee cut for thee mixtape.. Thee only thing is gathering thee beats cus i got my topics down pat so i'm ready to write, just finiding my beats n all that good stuff. I'm going to hawaii next week to see my bro so yaye, haven't seen him in months so i'm very excited for that, gonna be out there for a little over a week, then i'm gonna come back n get to work, & i'ma work hard. Member, hard work is respected x GOD is always watching.. me too, cus thee skyyyyyyy i roammmmmm when i'm not homeeeeeeee